That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
