He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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