Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
