maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
