i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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