dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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