U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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