I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
