His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
