i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
why do cheetos always look like penises
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
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