yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
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All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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