I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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