Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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