He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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