the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
