That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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