smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
