Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
