I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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