I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
so much tequila, so little girl.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize