AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
