U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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