Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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