My friends, they love my intelligence
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize