your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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