im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sext me about skeletons
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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