i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
