by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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