I think I died a long time ago.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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