Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
