I want to walk on stilts...naked
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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