I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
