We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
