God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
