took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
