just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
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