Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
