And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
