How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
