put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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