he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize