I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
