$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize