It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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