Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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