i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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