i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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