Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
