I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize