and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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