brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize