Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
