Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
