Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize