I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
